Post by senka on Mar 30, 2010 8:43:29 GMT -5
It's a fun little idea I've had very,very early in the morning. I invite you all to make one yourself as well because it's a great way to learn more about your character. I know Senka sure has surprised me. With that said these are just a few random truth's that have dawned on me in the increasingly early hours of the morning. Don't be offended just because you're not mentioned, please. I'm sure I still <3 you
Thirty-two truths Senka ignores, because the truth hurts and it’s the only way she knows to deal with pain.
1. Senka doesn’t know how to be gentle. But sometimes, she tries.
2. She’s been called a ‘big ol’ softie’ once by the only person she’d accept it from even if she was under the newly discovered influence of alcohol at the time. The irony of this is that she could’ve been just that, in a different life. Or at least when it comes to pack, before life happened.
3. She really, really, really wanted to be Alpha. Once.
4. Now she believes that she has risen above that, and she’s not the only one in thinking so. The role of an advisor was something she unwittingly took upon but one that suits her surprisingly well. The fact that it’s lonely at the top is yet another well known truth thrown in her face. But at least she has a wolf’s head to hide it now.
5. She doesn’t know what love is. But she’s pretty sure she doesn’t want anything to do with it after a night spend with a moth-swallowing-companion.
6. She really does have a weak spot for Taini, and she’s always had. A kind of bond that you can only have with only one of your pack. The fact that she’s changed only suits the wolf that much better, this Taini is much easier to understand; flawed like she is, in love with the hunt and not nearly as repulsed by murdering as she used to be. The fact that others call the new Taini Satoshi is a truth she skilfully ignores.
7. She’s developed a…less dislike…for cats the first time she’s heard Taini’s new name.
8. Senka feels old. And though she may be older then most, in lycan terms she’s really still a far cry of being truly old, no matter how she acts. Years stretch on before her, hundreds of them, one of the ‘perks’ of being a lycanthrope. Sometimes she wishes things were different. There is something dignified in dying out of old age rather then violence. Something dignified in losing it of Mother Nature after having won so many battles in your life. It’s not until she realises she’s begun to care about things like dignity that she truly, fully feels old. Right down to her very bones.
9. She knows she’ll die just as most of her race does. Violent and bloody, most likely ripped to shreds by one just like her. The only thing she can hope for is that, when it comes down to it, she’ll die for a good reason.
10. It’s only when the ghosts insist that she’d play with them that she realises she doesn’t know how. She’s not sure she ever did.
11. Killing, that she knows. A little too well sometimes, to the point where she murders just because she’s bored and she can. There is something in flesh parting beneath her fangs that will, quite simply, never grow old.
12. There are a surprising number of people who have accused her of being soulless. This isn’t true. It’s just that her soul is human.
13. There are things that truly never cross her mind. In the space between beast and human there is little room for subtlety and manipulation and so the creature is left horribly blunt. A fact sometimes forgotten for she has the intelligence to be cunning, if only she had the desire. One example of this is that she really, truly, has no interest in stealing anyone’s mate regardless of what several women have accused her of. Mated is mated, and she has no interest in males weak enough to succumb to other women when already pledged to one.
14. Part of her still feels taken anyway, despite her best efforts to forget. Because the bond between Jayant and her is stronger than even her most stubborn attempts, and the fact that he’s tried to kill her doesn’t change that. After all she called him Jay in affection and let him be possessive while she never let anyone before. And you just simply don’t forget you were mated to an Alpha, a true Alpha, once. Especially if made him a father... So she refuses to shorten anyone else’s name, makes up nicknames with her limited imagination instead, and pretends a little part of her isn’t always on the lookout for the familiarity that is his scent.
15. The loyalty of a wolf goes further then that of a mere dog. It’s also much, much harder to attain. Senka has a way to forget about the few fragile bonds she’s made painfully and lost easily, people disappearing as smoothly from her life as she from theirs. Jaidin and Kasyr have become vague memories to be teased with by ghosts far too malicious to be truly as young as they appear, but that doesn’t mean that the albino has stopped completely caring. She will stop herself from killing either one of them at first sight, once they meet again. And that will have to be enough.
16. She still doesn’t know who belongs to Cabal. She’s got her eye out for that mark.
17. She’s afraid of magic in the way an animal is instinctively afraid of fire. The fact that her very own gift is considered magic as well doesn’t occur to her. What does come to mind, however, is that the gift is barely different from a curse. It does more then just allow her to "talk" in minds, after all.
18. The years she spends after being driven from her pack are bleak and hollow compared to her days now. All she did was eating and defending her territory because somewhere along the lines she forgot to live. Leo was the first that made her care again so she called him pup and took him under her wing. She still resents him for bringing her back to life, a little. The fact that he has outgrown the name she gave him makes it all the more confusing. But she won’t stop being his mentor whether he likes it or not. She still has things to teach and she doesn’t really know how to be a friend.
19. She’s a creature of habit.
20. Senka vowed to never, ever, to join a pack again after what has happened. Somehow that vow got broken. That doesn’t mean she has to openly admit it.
21. Horribly arrogant and prone to overlooking her faults as she is, Senka is not an insecure creature. That doesn’t stop her from flinching whenever she thinks she even hears it whispered however; unnatural.
22. She never, not once, felt guilty about taking a life.
23. There is no one she will never kill. Senka is a selfish creature and never is a too big a promise. There are perhaps three people she’d truly have to be all but forced to kill. But with a temper of a true lycanthrope, the selfishness of a human and a survivor’s mentality she cannot make any promises. So she doesn’t, not really.
24. Though she does her best to make pups the exception of this rule, she knows it will never happen. She’ll kill the culprit rather than the pup if she can, she’ll risk her life if she has to but a part of her is too arrogant to consider she might actually truly die protecting the pup. In the end this means that, when put on the spot, there is no guarantee that Senka will choose the pup’s life above her own. In fact, the wolf isn’t naïve enough to believe in even a chance of this happening. She is a survivor, above all.
25. Despite her insistence and far-from-social-attitude Senka is a pack animal. She gets lonely. But the human in her needs the space solitude provides her, air for her ego to breathe. The fact that she’s often torn between these two different wishes, different natures, is something she fears to be obvious. It isn’t.
26. Somewhere, deep, deep down she knows she’s not exactly sane. This doesn’t bother her.
27. One surprisingly big reason for her hatred of shifting into a human body isn’t even the pain. Two-walker males keep hitting on her and she has absolutely no clue about how to deal with that.
28. She has kissed one however. It was awkward but surprisingly nice.
29. She doesn’t really know what to do with Mahri. The other being an alpha of a pack and not submissive to her rubs her fur the wrong way, yet she does listen to her arrogant ‘advice’ which makes for a very conflicted albino. On one hand she keeps seeing a much younger version of Mahri in her mind, one she looked out for…long ago. On the other she just really, really, really want to knock her around. Mahri also isn’t the first to make her confused like this.
30. The fact that she tends to look out for a few chosen ones like a violent mother hen is a fact that is, quite forcefully, pushed to the back of her mind. She. Is. Not. Going. Soft.
31. Senka really, really, dislikes the taste of dog flesh, blood, saliva or anything dog related. Jack really has nothing to fear from her, despite her great acting performances. This doesn’t make him less annoying.
32. Being with Cabal soothes some of the hurt that the separation of her and Mana has caused. She hopes that some day, they might be able to take the pain of losing her pup completely away. Until that day comes however she fears the end of the pack because she isn’t quite sure she won’t just disappear if she doesn’t even have the pack to keep her going anymore. It’s a fear carefully hidden by a beast that isn’t used to hiding.
Thirty-two truths Senka ignores, because the truth hurts and it’s the only way she knows to deal with pain.
1. Senka doesn’t know how to be gentle. But sometimes, she tries.
2. She’s been called a ‘big ol’ softie’ once by the only person she’d accept it from even if she was under the newly discovered influence of alcohol at the time. The irony of this is that she could’ve been just that, in a different life. Or at least when it comes to pack, before life happened.
3. She really, really, really wanted to be Alpha. Once.
4. Now she believes that she has risen above that, and she’s not the only one in thinking so. The role of an advisor was something she unwittingly took upon but one that suits her surprisingly well. The fact that it’s lonely at the top is yet another well known truth thrown in her face. But at least she has a wolf’s head to hide it now.
5. She doesn’t know what love is. But she’s pretty sure she doesn’t want anything to do with it after a night spend with a moth-swallowing-companion.
6. She really does have a weak spot for Taini, and she’s always had. A kind of bond that you can only have with only one of your pack. The fact that she’s changed only suits the wolf that much better, this Taini is much easier to understand; flawed like she is, in love with the hunt and not nearly as repulsed by murdering as she used to be. The fact that others call the new Taini Satoshi is a truth she skilfully ignores.
7. She’s developed a…less dislike…for cats the first time she’s heard Taini’s new name.
8. Senka feels old. And though she may be older then most, in lycan terms she’s really still a far cry of being truly old, no matter how she acts. Years stretch on before her, hundreds of them, one of the ‘perks’ of being a lycanthrope. Sometimes she wishes things were different. There is something dignified in dying out of old age rather then violence. Something dignified in losing it of Mother Nature after having won so many battles in your life. It’s not until she realises she’s begun to care about things like dignity that she truly, fully feels old. Right down to her very bones.
9. She knows she’ll die just as most of her race does. Violent and bloody, most likely ripped to shreds by one just like her. The only thing she can hope for is that, when it comes down to it, she’ll die for a good reason.
10. It’s only when the ghosts insist that she’d play with them that she realises she doesn’t know how. She’s not sure she ever did.
11. Killing, that she knows. A little too well sometimes, to the point where she murders just because she’s bored and she can. There is something in flesh parting beneath her fangs that will, quite simply, never grow old.
12. There are a surprising number of people who have accused her of being soulless. This isn’t true. It’s just that her soul is human.
13. There are things that truly never cross her mind. In the space between beast and human there is little room for subtlety and manipulation and so the creature is left horribly blunt. A fact sometimes forgotten for she has the intelligence to be cunning, if only she had the desire. One example of this is that she really, truly, has no interest in stealing anyone’s mate regardless of what several women have accused her of. Mated is mated, and she has no interest in males weak enough to succumb to other women when already pledged to one.
14. Part of her still feels taken anyway, despite her best efforts to forget. Because the bond between Jayant and her is stronger than even her most stubborn attempts, and the fact that he’s tried to kill her doesn’t change that. After all she called him Jay in affection and let him be possessive while she never let anyone before. And you just simply don’t forget you were mated to an Alpha, a true Alpha, once. Especially if made him a father... So she refuses to shorten anyone else’s name, makes up nicknames with her limited imagination instead, and pretends a little part of her isn’t always on the lookout for the familiarity that is his scent.
15. The loyalty of a wolf goes further then that of a mere dog. It’s also much, much harder to attain. Senka has a way to forget about the few fragile bonds she’s made painfully and lost easily, people disappearing as smoothly from her life as she from theirs. Jaidin and Kasyr have become vague memories to be teased with by ghosts far too malicious to be truly as young as they appear, but that doesn’t mean that the albino has stopped completely caring. She will stop herself from killing either one of them at first sight, once they meet again. And that will have to be enough.
16. She still doesn’t know who belongs to Cabal. She’s got her eye out for that mark.
17. She’s afraid of magic in the way an animal is instinctively afraid of fire. The fact that her very own gift is considered magic as well doesn’t occur to her. What does come to mind, however, is that the gift is barely different from a curse. It does more then just allow her to "talk" in minds, after all.
18. The years she spends after being driven from her pack are bleak and hollow compared to her days now. All she did was eating and defending her territory because somewhere along the lines she forgot to live. Leo was the first that made her care again so she called him pup and took him under her wing. She still resents him for bringing her back to life, a little. The fact that he has outgrown the name she gave him makes it all the more confusing. But she won’t stop being his mentor whether he likes it or not. She still has things to teach and she doesn’t really know how to be a friend.
19. She’s a creature of habit.
20. Senka vowed to never, ever, to join a pack again after what has happened. Somehow that vow got broken. That doesn’t mean she has to openly admit it.
21. Horribly arrogant and prone to overlooking her faults as she is, Senka is not an insecure creature. That doesn’t stop her from flinching whenever she thinks she even hears it whispered however; unnatural.
22. She never, not once, felt guilty about taking a life.
23. There is no one she will never kill. Senka is a selfish creature and never is a too big a promise. There are perhaps three people she’d truly have to be all but forced to kill. But with a temper of a true lycanthrope, the selfishness of a human and a survivor’s mentality she cannot make any promises. So she doesn’t, not really.
24. Though she does her best to make pups the exception of this rule, she knows it will never happen. She’ll kill the culprit rather than the pup if she can, she’ll risk her life if she has to but a part of her is too arrogant to consider she might actually truly die protecting the pup. In the end this means that, when put on the spot, there is no guarantee that Senka will choose the pup’s life above her own. In fact, the wolf isn’t naïve enough to believe in even a chance of this happening. She is a survivor, above all.
25. Despite her insistence and far-from-social-attitude Senka is a pack animal. She gets lonely. But the human in her needs the space solitude provides her, air for her ego to breathe. The fact that she’s often torn between these two different wishes, different natures, is something she fears to be obvious. It isn’t.
26. Somewhere, deep, deep down she knows she’s not exactly sane. This doesn’t bother her.
27. One surprisingly big reason for her hatred of shifting into a human body isn’t even the pain. Two-walker males keep hitting on her and she has absolutely no clue about how to deal with that.
28. She has kissed one however. It was awkward but surprisingly nice.
29. She doesn’t really know what to do with Mahri. The other being an alpha of a pack and not submissive to her rubs her fur the wrong way, yet she does listen to her arrogant ‘advice’ which makes for a very conflicted albino. On one hand she keeps seeing a much younger version of Mahri in her mind, one she looked out for…long ago. On the other she just really, really, really want to knock her around. Mahri also isn’t the first to make her confused like this.
30. The fact that she tends to look out for a few chosen ones like a violent mother hen is a fact that is, quite forcefully, pushed to the back of her mind. She. Is. Not. Going. Soft.
31. Senka really, really, dislikes the taste of dog flesh, blood, saliva or anything dog related. Jack really has nothing to fear from her, despite her great acting performances. This doesn’t make him less annoying.
32. Being with Cabal soothes some of the hurt that the separation of her and Mana has caused. She hopes that some day, they might be able to take the pain of losing her pup completely away. Until that day comes however she fears the end of the pack because she isn’t quite sure she won’t just disappear if she doesn’t even have the pack to keep her going anymore. It’s a fear carefully hidden by a beast that isn’t used to hiding.